Great Expectations

by Jill Crossland

Between now and mid December we will bring you ways to get rid of that knot. First, though let's look at what causing it. What is it that you are dreading about the days and weeks to come?

Take some time to sit quietly; cup of tea and pad in hand. Then list what needs to change and what needs to stay in your holiday celebrations.

Here are the four key areas that clients usually want to work on at this time of year:

• Schedule Overload
  There will be extra errands and tasks to add to an already busy schedule. Look for ways to share. For example, have a friend or neighbor watch your kids while you shop then you do the same for her. Admit that you are feeling a little overwhelmed and ask for help; especially from partners & older children. Give them a little warning; after all, they are use to you doing everything. Don't criticize their efforts (who cares how the laundry gets folded as long as you as free to do something else). This is a good time management step to take into 2006.
  As your celebratory day draws closer don't over plan. Let things happen. Allow for evenings in with hot chocolate and a DVD or time to exercise with pets or family.
• The Relatives
  Are Uncle Harry or Aunt Mary always grumpy or argumentative? Do they always over indulge or complain about everything? Why doesn't anyone ever say anything? Well, you are an adult now maybe it is time to address their behavior. Do it now before the holidays. Talk to them and explain how their behavior is affecting everyone. Be caring but firm; explain that things have to change. Sometimes relatives don't feel useful; ask them help with the table, potatoes or kids.
• Annual Traditions
  Run through the seasonal rituals. Has the family outgrown some of them? Is it time to change or shorten them? Look for opportunities to start new ones that fit better into your lifestyle.
• That Empty Feeling
  At the end of each holiday season do you feel that something was missing? Examine the source:
  • You couldn't spend enough time spent with children, partners……or with you?
  • You would like more spiritual connectiona with your celebrations?
  • Too busy in the kitchen while everyone else is having fun?
  
  Don't let another holiday leave you emotionally and physically drained. Small, constructive changes can be very important to untying the knot and bringing back the meaning of your celebrations.

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